Log in

No account? Create an account

I am a dirty dirty traitor

 I moved, and I am just as bad at blogging at my new place. If you love me you won't discriminate yo.

Venty McVent

Sorry I haven't posted for a while, it's because I'm a lazy shit. Every time I go to blog I realise that whatever I want to share is irrelevant and trivial. Much like this blog! But I need to vent.


It has been 7 weeks and counting since SIL moved her shit into our house. Before she came we agreed that she would pay $75 a week rent and she wasn't bringing her dog. Well, at the seventh week and counting we have been paid $0.00 and counting (well, no need to count) and our home is now shared with a stupid yappy mutt that has transformed our dog into an equally yappy mutt and two birds that fling shit everywhere in our den. Upon questioning her this week about the missing rent she simply said "oh I don't have any money, I'll pay you in a lump sum at a later date". When Rick pointed out that she brought pets down without asking she said "I did tell you, you forgot". The other day I made Rick tell her not to put shitty baby nappies straight into the washing machine, intead soaking them in a bucket of nappysan like the rest of us. She just did her washing at 10:30 tonight and my line is adorn with a whole lot of stinky nappies - that haven't seen a bucket since they were catching poo and wee on my neice. Now this begs the question: does she think we're fucking stupid??? This is the same woman that everyone in the family (even alpha-male Rick) is afraid to cross. The same woman that charged Rick $50 a week to live on her couch when he was much younger, and if he didn't pay on time or God forbit ate something from her fridge she'd chase down the street. I'm so sick and tired of this situation! This is MY HOUSE!

I don't really need to go on, but I will. She fills my vege crisper with her stupid yogurts and uses my laundy powder and happily eats my home cooked meals without so much as an offer to cook the next night. She uses my toiletries! My little sister asked me a few months ago if she could move in for a month while trying to relocate to Brisbane, and you know what we told her? "no." Because this is our marital home, where we are raising our first born and trying to live in harmony. Fucking harmony.



coughy cough cough

Ugh. Groan. I'm sick. I didn't get any sleep last night, and now I'm pinging from all the sugar I ate before. I have a big day of housework and doing other people favours tomorrow. It's meant to be my day off. I hate people. The SIL comes back tomorrow, and my friend Axel's godmother comes as well. Both of these things fill me with dread. I'll fill you in on the whole shibang laterz, right now I need to go shower. I'm sick and can't stop coughing and it's gross. I've heaved so much in the last two hours that I am covered in heave sweat. I already showered once!


Writer's Block: Brush with stardom

Have you ever stumbled across a celebrity in your daily life? Was it more or less exciting than you would have expected? Do you have any interest in meeting media stars?

One time I was at Friday's which is a swanky-yet-trashy bar on the river in Bris City. Well when I say one time, I mean during my three years at university I frequented Friday's with my girlfriends for binge drinking sessions on 'social lubricant' nights ($2 basics ya'll). One such Thursday night my heavily intoxicated pal Linda and I noticed that Merrick from Merrick and Rosso fame was there chatting up a leggy blonde. Being $2 basics night we were both pretty trashed so we proceeded to make him our best friend. I'm fairly sure we bordered on sexual harrassment, but it was great fun. The stuff fuzzy memories are made of.

Oh no, we're that couple

We are. That couple. The couple that gets engaged with no foresight of a wedding. No idea when, where, how, when, why. No intention? Well two years ago this July 4th Rick presented me with a gold, diamond and ruby ring while we stuffed our faces with devine French food at a prestigous inner city restaurant. My immediate thought when the little green box appeared on the cheese platter was "aw man I just want to get that cheese into my preggy belly". I was around seven months pregnant and had been salivating at the thought of celebrating Rick's birthday just so I could use the occasion to get some soft cheese into my belly. I'd brought it up at least twice before the night, just to make sure Rick would indeed allow me to order cheese in my state. So this ring box is sitting next to the rockfort and gruyer and I literally huffed in frustration at the delay. I decided to ignore it and picked up a cracker, only to realise that Rick, our waitress, and the executive chef were all watching me, waiting for my reaction. When I opened the box and saw the dressy-but-not-traditional ring I thought it was some dumb joke. Thanks to the eager squeaky voiced waitress we established the obligatory "yes, yes!"es and got back to the cheese.

- I think I've told you this story before -

Anyway, at that point in time I had no intention of following through. I doubt Rick did either. We both just thought it was 'proper'. And I'll admit, even though the ring isn't really what I would call pretty in any way, I was relieved to have something to flash to those older women on the bus who tsk tsked at me for being up the duff and unmarried. But something has changed. Sure, we had the kid and bought a house and opened up a combined bank account and went on a family holiday. But I think the real change happened around the time we worked through some huge issues with infedelity and potential love children and trust. Somewhere in the past 18 months we've come to find peace and love in our union. So now we've wandered into a few jewellers looking at real diamond rings, and even bought a few bridal magazines. Now we realise we became that couple, and this year we are really cementing our status as That. Couple. So we're making some plans. It's freaking me out, but we're making some plans.

Oh, and I'm not up the duff, pee test confirmed that today. No idea why I'm having weird symptoms and loopy dreams. Maybe I took two pills somewhere this month and didn't realise.


ABC of Amyyy

I wanted to blog but my brain has been AWOL all day. I dropped like fifty things at work today, because no brain equals no balance etc. So here, satisfy your inner passion for me by reading this stuff! If you decide to do it too tell me so I can get passionate over you. Or something.

A - Age: 22, but lately I keep forgetting. It's weird that I'm this young yet still old enough to have to pause and think and count on my hands.

B - Bed size: Queen, really pretty shiny aqua bed spread that slides off in my sleep, and matching orchid lights above it. Fully sick.

C - Chore you hate: Cleaning the bathroom gag

D - Dog/Pet's name: Chevy, or as Axel calls her, Shwaa

E - Essential start to your day item(s): My little person's excited giggles as he hides from me under his blanket each morning. It sucks balls when I have to sneak out early without waking him on Fridays when I work really early. Big hairy ones.

F - Favorite color: green

G - Gold or Silver: silver

H - Height: 5' 3", or if you're an Australian such as I, 160cm

I - Instruments you play(ed): Flute and trumpet, I was a naughty little shit and got tired of both after two weeks

J - Job title: Barista, weekend BOSS (lame). Mum (boss all the time)

K - Kisses or hugs: Hugs

L - Living arrangements: Own a dump that I love in Brisbane

M - Mood: Absent minded

N - Nicknames: Maaa, MUM!, oi

O - Overnight hospital stays other than birth: None

P - Pet Peeves: bad drivers, xenophobes, xylophones

Q - Quote from a movie: "The results are in amigo, what's left to ponder? ...nice comeback!"

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: The sandwich child between a bro and a ho

T - Time you wake up: It depends. Some days I work at 6:45am which hurts my soul, some days if everyone is very careful not to cough or flush the toilet my son will sleep in til 10am.

U- Underwear: I have a lot of undies, it's a bit of a sick hobbie, and most of them are some level of cute or sexy.

V - Vegetable you dislike: Cucumber

W - Ways you run late: I have a toddler, what more do you need?

X - X-rays you've had: mouth, both wrists

Y - Yummy food you make: quiches, num num quiches that are amazing. I go alright in the kitchen I reckon.

Z - Zoo favorite: I'm not sure, I haven't been to the zoo in a very long time and I keep meaning to take Axel but did you know the zoos around here are hell expensive? What's that all about?




No way! A whinge



My sister in law eh

Hi now, my name is Amy and I have been a lazy little cow not blogging to my ones of readers (Hi Amie!). I keep meaning to, but I seriously drink too much in the evenings. Or maybe I've become too accustomed to twitter and I can't follow through on any thoughts more than 140 characters. Anyway, my SIL has just moved in, so I'm thinking I'm going to need somewhere the vent. Will you let me vent at you bloggy wog? I really don't like this situation, particularly because I'm fond of walking around in my undies and guzzling the wine after my baby goes to bed. Also, we've shared two dinner time meals together, and both times after I said I was full she said "good girl, you won't blow out too much if you don't go for seconds". Seriously. We think her partner (who is staying in Townsville until they've saved enough cash to move all their furniture down and rent a house) is emotionally abusing her. She keeps chiming into our conversations about food with odd things like that. She asked if she could be taught how to cook risotto- even though her partner says she can't eat rice because she blows out when she gets on the carbs. Seriously! She also constantly talks about her weight and how she's thinner now then before she had her daughter who is 8 months old. Pfft whatever.

Anyway, my home town is flooding right now. Lots of friends and family have lost their cars and houses and what not. My bro's house is completely under water. My parents live on a hill though. I just pray that they have flood insurance (but really, who would have flood insurance in a country town that has been in drought almost my entire life?)

Over and out!


Hey hey

Oi friends, I'm behind in reading your blogs (see previous post on laziness) but I will get there so please keep loving me.